Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Fetus Watch: Trump Edition

We here at Urbanatime are extremely proud of our fellow gold diggers. Not only do we admire all that they have done for our community, but we also are the first to commend their accomplishments in Grand Theft Auto and Botox reception. For that reason, we were privy to this intimate correspondence between the lovely and most notable gold diggers of 2005, Kevin "I banged Britzilla" Federline and Melania "I humped a Trump" Knauss.

'Sup Mel,
Mad props beeotch! U R set 4 life. Name that little shit Benjamin. As in Franklin. As in hundred dollar bills y'all.
You better recognize,

We couldn't be happier for them. There's nothing we enjoy watching more than the development of a socialite zygote, if for no other reason than it makes us yearn to pop from a far wealthier womb than the Denny's that our gametes met in.

Stay tuned.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses.

We ordered Sea and watched Desperate Housewives last night. Did you? Here's a clip from the episode...

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Disappointing NY Post/NY Daily News headlines

The best we got was "He's no Weiner"

NYTimes: "Concession Sets Up Bloomberg-Ferrer Race"
NY Daily News: "Weiner Concedes Dem Battle"
AM New York: "Weiner Concedes Race to Ferrer"

BORING. So much meat, but all filler.

Thanks to Gawker, today's winning headline used to be "Weiner Pulls Out" from 1010 WINS but however, this headline has conceded as well in the running and changed over to "Weiner Concedes" or something dumb and now, the article isn't even there. Fucking Sallies.

Weiner Pulls Out via Gawker

On another note, many congratulations to our friend Fernando Ferrer.

Monday, September 12, 2005

NYC Mayoral Race 2005 Updates

With Al Sharpton's announced support for Bronx President Fernando Ferrer today, he commented "There was no Weiner on the menu."

Ed Note: We at Urbanatime are proud to continue the long standing tradition of giving Anthony Weiner shit for his detrimental last name. If you should happen to witness any of these double entredres, please please please, send 'em over.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Most Amazing Invention EVER.

This weeks props going to craigs list post #94800570. Please click link for full details.

newyork.craigslist.org Couch for sale

but pretty much it says this....

Couch w/Recliners that message, pull out Bed & speaker Phone built in

Reply to: anon-96800570@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-09-11, 11:29AM EDT

This couch is very PLUSH & LUXURIOUS. Has 2 built in recliners that message, a hidden console with a built in speaker phone & a pull out bed.
I paid $2,500 about 3 years ago. I'm selling it for $1,450 or best offer

Urbana and Lauren are looking to turning 293 into party house 293. We plan to do this with the addition of a love seat and a move of the tv. If you've got one or know of a great one. Please give a call.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Take 2: Frank chimes in

-----Original Message-----
From: XX
Sent: Thursday, September 08, 2005 4:32 PM
To: XX
Subject: Re: We can't.possibly allow the day to go by without

>From Hotline:
Asked to predict the New York Post's headline on Rep. Anthony Weiner's
(D-NY) mayoral race, you were very funny. Among your printable ideas:
Dog We Have A Weiner!"; "Weiner Cut Off"; "Weiner Pokes Through
"Weiner Pulls It Out!"; "Weiner Has Weak Poll"; "Weiner Gets Late
"Weiner Comes Last"; "Bloomberg Congratulates Ferrer for Beating
"Weiner Gets Smoked"; "Weiner Peters Out"; "Weiner Relishes In Victory";

"Can Weiner Satisfy All Five Boroughs?"; "Weiner Droops In Poor Finish";

"Winer Roast-ed"; "Weiner By A Hair"; "Weiner Inches Ahead"; "Ferrer
Grip On Weiner"; "Weiner Blown Away"; "Weiner Bruised In Tight Race";
"Gephardt Wins Primary"; "Oscar Mayor Weiner"; "Weiner On A Roll!";
"It's A
Weiner-fest"; "Insert Weiner Here" (with photo of Gracie Mansion); and
"Bloomie Takes It On Chin From Weiner."

Take 1: Mat & Urbana Discuss Politics

Click to read it sucka!
Lightning Bolt=Mat

Thursday, September 08, 2005


Hello! If I haven't shoved this down your throat enough... check out the New and Improved PAPERMAG.COM!

Thank you for your love and support.


Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Happy Birthday Frank!

Happy 23rd! Let's play a game. Name all the famous Franks you can...

1. Frank Sinatra
2. Frank Lloyd Wright
3. Anne Frank
4. Fenway Franks
5. Frank Decaro
6. Frank Black
7. Frank Zappa
8. Paul Frank
9. Frank Oz
10. Frank Rothman!!!

I'll be the most popular!

Hi friends,
My dad gave me a 30 pack of Bud as my "nice to see ya, don't wreck my car, here's some cheap beer your mother and I refuse to drink" gift. Tonight I plan to make room in the fridge for most of those goodies. Friday I would like some help drinking them. Also, let's celebrate the berry brothel. Same apartment, a little more space. Better tunes. See you friday.