Friday, November 25, 2005

Post Game Review:

Oh thank god Thanksgiving is over.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Bless us O Lord and these thy gifts...

As we gather with our family and friends tomorrow, let us not forget the many things we are thankful for this year. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, Urbanatime and the Friends Forever would like to share what we are thankful for.

We are thankful for...
1. friends and family
2. big home cooked meals
3. Macy's Day Parade
4. nice apartments and employment
5. cute puppies and kittens
6. The Tyra Banks Show
7. America's Next Top Model
8. Star Jones
9. Handisnacks
10. CNN Breaking News alerts
11. Macaques (a type of monkey)
12. Dr. Scholls foot spray
11. Buns o' Steel Video
12. Mom's casserole
13. Blogs!
14. Mini Skirts
15. Roof top lounge fests
16. Scratch 'n Sniff
17. New York Magazine crossword puzzles
18. Subaru outbacks
19. Rockefeller State Park
20. Make out sessions
21. Sluts

Peace be with you. Amen

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Taco Belle goes to LA... jealous?

I hope everyone is enjoying my weekly music "reviews." If you are then I am sorry to disappoint you this week but I will be in Los Angeles for the holidays enoying the 70 degree weather, dying my hair blond and getting a boob job. (If you aren't enjoying the reviews then I hope you gain 10 pounds come Thursday.)

I will be attending a few shows this weekend out in the West Coast, so perhaps you can look forward to getting your Los Angeles music education come Monday.

And now... as a final holiday treat, please enjoy this boobie shot! If you can correctly guess who this lovely vixen is I will personally make you a mixed CD of all my favorite jams!


Monday, November 21, 2005

Papermag Gallery Party!

Thanks to everyone that came to the Papermag Gallery Opening last Friday! There's an ugly picture of me if you click the link that's on Gawker. Check it out!

And by the way, I think Kelly is lying about the Golden Girls DVD signing at the Bowery Poetry Club tomorrow night. See the Bowey Poetry Club Calendar I am hurt by the false claim. Especially if it was a signing for this DVD.

Taste Test of the Week: Installment 1

Kelly and Urbana escaped to the country on Saturday. We made our first pit stop at Stew Leonards, the craziest supermarket of them all! There were samples of Thanksgiving dinner and Crab Rangoon there though, so we were psyched. Later we found nature and took a stroll through Rockefeller State Park. Pics to come. However, the important part of the story is, we were seriously craving a Starbucks Gingerbread Latte.

As the sun went down, we took a pit stop somewhere in the white plains area and found ourselves a Starbucks. Urbana ordered one Grande Skim Gingerbread Latte and a biscotti. Kelly order one Grande Pumpkin Spice Latte and a biscotti. The biscotti was delicious. The beverages, on the other hand, were not delicious. The gingerbread latte tastes like dirt. The pumpkin spice latte taste like sweet dirt. If Urbana may recommend a beverage to you, loyal reader, it is a regular regular, or go to your local coffee shop for a perfectly perfect latte.

Coffee, is not something to screw around with. It is our life blood and it better be damn good.

Friday, November 18, 2005

GOGOL BORDELLO - Think Locally, Fuck Globally

It's Friday and we all know what that means - Taco Belle will be blacked out by 10pm. But before the weekend begins, let her regale you with another review of a band that she has sexual fantasies about. This week's band... Gogol Bordello.

First of all, does anyone ever wonder about Ukranians? What's their deal? I mean, sure, they were anally raped big time in WWII by both the Germans and the Russians, but what about since then? Do they have running water over there? Does every family own a circus bear? What's up with the sicle and the hammer? Do they do the tushy pushy with goats? ...Who knows! Admittedly, I am an ignorant American and know nothing about most countries (aside from the slandering jokes, of course). What I DO know about such foreign and magical lands as the Ukraine, Russia, Japan and even France I've learned from music.

Enter Gogol Bordello, a raucous troupe of Ukranian and Russian musicians residing right here in New York. Their sound is quite possibly the most exciting I've heard since the Rapture's "Out Of The Races And Onto The Tracks" EP. Forget the 80s New Wave revival crap (ahem, Interpol/Bloc Party/Stellastarr*), Gogol Bordello provides the goods - an intense combination of traditional Gypsy tunes and politically charged punk rock. Led by none other than Eugene "I'd Go For A Ride On That Mustache" Hutz, this band reminds their audience what it feels like to be living and breathing in a pulsating city.

The original members first met in Vermont where they were hired to play at a Russian Wedding where "of course, everyone wants to hear the fucking Gypsy shit," says Hutz. Thus began what is now a regular institution in Lower Manhattan. Catch Hutz and the gang (when they're not on tour) every Thursday at the Bulgarian Bar on Broadway and Canal. I must admit, the idea of taking vodka shots and dancing to "Gypsy fuck songs" sounds delightful. Urbana and Taco Belle are making it our business to become regulars at this lil' shindig described as "the bible of transglobal debauchery." Plus the idea of a drunk make out session with the Hutz is quite divine.

Check them out:

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Urbana Reporting from Downtown:

Beware! Tribeca over run with pint size Asian girls and boys carrying massive and multiple Steven Alan bags.

The Steven Alan sample sale started today with savings of 30-75% on young designer and unique threads that you could absolutely positively never afford, that is unless you bone Heath Ledger and give birth to his baby. Alas, some other washed up indie darling has already beat us to it. That's why good old Steven has given us his infamous bi-annual Sample Sale.

Urbana and an associate went to the sale during lunch since it is a mere 3 feet from our office door. The selection was decent though there were several racks of the unwanted clothes you've been sifting through since the sample sale of 2003. Urbana left sans purchases due to a recently inflated spare tire. (more to come on that tribulation)

In conclusion: If you're a size 4, RUN TO STEVEN ALAN SAMPLE SALE. 87 Franklin St btw. Broadway & Church. Sale ends Saturday Nov 19th at 7pm.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

YAY Post #162

Today we have a special tribute to Friends Forever. It doesn't matter if you're tall or short, skinny or portly, ugly or mediocre lookin. We love all friends and we celebrate our differences. However, if you're skinny, pretty, and dating someone particularly handsome, smart, and rich, we might choose not to pick you as our favorite pal because honestly, we hate you. It's like my Catholic confirmation teacher said "you can be nice to jews and protestants, but you shouldn't be friends with them."

But, for the most part, we can be friendly and sit on eachother's heads when we need a lift.

For more on this meaningful and rewarding relationship, follow your heart here: "Friendship Proves a Real Hoot" via Shropshire Star

Friday, November 11, 2005

Lunchtime Desserts

The Ladies who Lunch aka. Urbana & Wilson, spotted hunky Sirloin Steak Josh Hartnett at Tribeca eatery Edwards.

No, it wasn't the half carafe of house red that deceived us. It was the gosh darned truth, he was there lunching with some senior gentlemen probably working on a screenplay or something, looking a little bit like this...

TEST ICICLES - some boys should not be allowed to come up with band names

Hello, friends! I am Taco Belle, mistress of mexican food, and from now on I will be giving a weekly music review for all you lovely Urbana fans. First one to make the cut: TEST ICICLES

Look at these little scamps! Their average age and pant size is 21, they hail from England, and they are currently playing a slue of NYC shows along side fellow UKsters, Art Brut. What can I say, apparently they love everything in England. Punk/indie bands are a dime a dozen over there. New bands keep popping up, each one worse than the one before. Just look at their fans! Pics from our overseas comrades reveal shows flooded with skin heads in soccer jerseys Kaiser Chief shows! (Look them up, they suck).

ANYWAY, Test Icicles are three boys described as "the sound of East London imploding in brilliant technicolour" by stupid NME. What in the heck does that mean anyway? I'll tell you what it means, it means they have a black dude in their band - big woop. So you've got street cred. That didn't stop your lead singer from fainting on stage. I mean, sure, maybe it was because he cut his toe and bled until he passed out, but that's no excuse. How the hell did he cut his toe anyway? (T.B. has many funny and irreverent guesses but she shall spare you as this rant is long enough as it is).

So, Test Icicles. They're on tour now but good luck catching them because Americans devour all turds that expel from the butthole of Merry Old. And for those of you that think the term "turd" is a harsh metaphor for a human being, let me ask you this: Did you take a good look at that pic? I might have to punch something if I stare too long...

Why is Taco Belle so angry? I'll tell you why, because she secretly loves this band. And after having admitted that, she might need to give two reviews this week in order to redeem herself.
Check them out:

Introducing... Taco Belle!

Good Afternoon Urbanatime friends!

I'd like to take this moment to introduce the latest Urbanatime contributor, music lovahh, rock and roller, pretzel eater, Taco Belle! She's going to post a weekly music column for your listening pleasure. Its about time we listen to something more than Dionne Warwick, Kelly Clarkson, and The Little Mermaid Soundtrack.

The Taco Belle below: