Friday, November 11, 2005

TEST ICICLES - some boys should not be allowed to come up with band names


Hello, friends! I am Taco Belle, mistress of mexican food, and from now on I will be giving a weekly music review for all you lovely Urbana fans. First one to make the cut: TEST ICICLES

Look at these little scamps! Their average age and pant size is 21, they hail from England, and they are currently playing a slue of NYC shows along side fellow UKsters, Art Brut. What can I say, apparently they love everything in England. Punk/indie bands are a dime a dozen over there. New bands keep popping up, each one worse than the one before. Just look at their fans! Pics from our overseas comrades reveal shows flooded with skin heads in soccer jerseys ...at Kaiser Chief shows! (Look them up, they suck).

ANYWAY, Test Icicles are three boys described as "the sound of East London imploding in brilliant technicolour" by stupid NME. What in the heck does that mean anyway? I'll tell you what it means, it means they have a black dude in their band - big woop. So you've got street cred. That didn't stop your lead singer from fainting on stage. I mean, sure, maybe it was because he cut his toe and bled until he passed out, but that's no excuse. How the hell did he cut his toe anyway? (T.B. has many funny and irreverent guesses but she shall spare you as this rant is long enough as it is).

So, Test Icicles. They're on tour now but good luck catching them because Americans devour all turds that expel from the butthole of Merry Old. And for those of you that think the term "turd" is a harsh metaphor for a human being, let me ask you this: Did you take a good look at that pic? I might have to punch something if I stare too long...

Why is Taco Belle so angry? I'll tell you why, because she secretly loves this band. And after having admitted that, she might need to give two reviews this week in order to redeem herself.
Check them out: www.myspace.com/testicicles

2 comments:

Orudis KT said...

"Americans devour all turds that expel from the butthole of Merry Old."

Jesus Christ T.B.! You're the breath of life that Urbanatime so desperately needed. I can't quite place what I'm feeling inside but I'm pretty sure it's something like love...or an ovarian cyst.

Taco Belle said...

Perhaps it's that bean burrito I hand-fed you last night? Hmmmm?