Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Moz's father revealed!

You heard it first here on Friends Forever. NY1 anchor George Whipple needs to submit a DNA sample to Urbana's Paternity Shack on 2nd ave. to find out if its true.




You can't deny it any more Whipster!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

What a shitty time!

I smell road trip to Ashby Massachusetts (only 1 town away from Pepperell and a fridge full of my dad's beer).




Ashby hosts Poop-a-palooza
Nashoba Publishing


It’s back by poop-ular demand ... bigger and better than ever.

Ashby Grange hosts the 5th annual Poop-a-Palooza on Saturday, May 13, on the Ashby town common from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Come one and all to this one-of-a-kind fertilizer festival.

Bring a bucket and grab some of the best manure available.

Meet Ashby’s Grand Pooh-bah and Poop Princess.

Live music will be provided by the 7 Coyotes, and the Ramblin’ Floyds.

Other highlights of the day include Walk-a-Llama, poop-doh play area for kids, unique “Got Poop?” T-shirts for sale along with poop-corn and pooh-tato chips, and a plant sale by the Legion Auxilliary.

All proceeds benefit the Heifer Project.

For more information, please call Debbie or Tom at (978) 386-2323.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Peep This Shizzle!

Urbana's future hubby, y'all

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Urbana Hits GAWKER!

Does this mean I'm a legitimate person in the media? I'm now recognized as a contributor to pop culture?

YES, YES It does. I'm famous and you should be happy you know me. Celebratory dinner at Cipriani tomorrow night.

Click to see what i'm jibba jabbering about: Gawker Look Book

Monday, April 10, 2006

Let's resuscitate this beast...

...with a post on why Mexico is dandy!

Mexico is great because booze and food are cheap (and who doesn't love tequila and burritos?!). Taco Belle loves it all... including these fine things that you can purchase at next to nothing. Enjoy and visit mexico today!



Sunday, March 19, 2006

A Serious Dilemma.

I have eaten some form of asian food for the past three days.

Japanese on Friday: I ate these rice balls with some weird form of fruit (I think it could've been a plum?) in the middle. Sorta weird tasting but I'm always up for a challenge. Later at work I felt like a giant bubble was forming in my stomach and would eventually explode.

Thai on Saturday: I ate tofu and string beans with spicy basil sauce. Delicious. Later that evening I felt like my stomach was tossing ninja stars around.

Thai on Sunday? ...ok, I know that eating more today was not the best decision, but I had leftovers! And surprisingly, no stomach ache!

But I have a dilemma: Since I am now aware that asian food will make me sick 2 out of 3 times, should I continue to eat it everyday?

Go Tell it on the Mountain

Ode to Tanya Streeter: My Diving Queen
Oh Tanya,
In your wetsuit so silver,
Hold me in your massive lungs,
For the depths of 525 feet.
Six minutes in heaven,
And your heart?
Yeah, it still beats.
You ride your scooter to the office.

To party with Clooney and Ang Lee.

And when you get cold.
You luminate pee...

And for that I love you.
Forever and always my baby you'll be.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Kids say the darndest things

Last night, coming back from the Isobel Campbell show at Southpaw, I was waiting for the G train and came across some sweet looking babies.


some close ups of the cuties:


Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Shrinky Dink!


I want her for my key chain!

Monday, March 13, 2006

HOLLA!



Daughter
Sister
Friend
Wife
Mother (of kitty)
Artist
Musician
Vegan
Seamstress
Costume Designer
Singer
and now...

STYLIST!

Congratulations our fine fairy friend! Mrs. Buick Prentice-Walsh stole the show on tonight's final episode of WE's original series "Style Me with Rachel Hunter." After 6 weeks away from family and friends and a few months in tormenting silence, Buick can stand up and shout to the mountains! We love you B!

The winning look:

It is safe to open your eyes again.

After an early afternoon spent looking at poop related sites and throwing up in my mouth, I share this video in order to clear the horrendous images I have regrettably encountered.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Awesomeness, Thy Name Is Boggs

I've been slacking on the music reviews, I KNOW. But quite frankly I only listen to 4 or 5 bands anymore because I can't stand the rest. Until last night, that is. I went to see Blood On The Wall at the Mercury Lounge (who were amazing by the way, just as I had anticipated). I knew that The Boggs were opening for them, and although I had never really heard their stuff before, I HAD heard great things about them so I showed up early to check them out.

...LIKE WOAH. This band seriously blew me away. Their music is a straight-up punch to the gut followed by a rush of adrenaline. They're a noise/experimental explosion straight outta Brooklyn. Are there any Brooklyn bands that AREN'T amazing? That answer is obviously no. And once again Brooklyn has managed to bring together a group of musicians who create sounds like nothing ever heard before. The Boggs have got it all - the tall/lanky, hipster lead singer who can scream/sing beautifully and who shreds the guitar harder than Tom Morello (ok I'm exaggerating a bit here, but it's a pretty accurate comparison); the mandatory androgynous girl singer who shakes the tamborine and bangs the cowbell; the tight pants/suspenders wearin', neck tattoo sportin', all around cool dude bass player; the 2nd guitarist with the native poncho and bandana (every band's gotta have one of these guys); and finally the tiny drummer with the Ringo bowl cut who sits hunched over the drums and really beats the crap out of them (in a good way, of course).

They killed it last night. And while they aren't quite finished mixing their debut album (I know this because I contacted them first thing this morning), you can still hear some of their awesomeness on their myspace page. Also here's a crappy picture of them. Sorry but it's the only one I could find.



CHECK THEM OUT IMMEDIATELY!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Orudis's Favorite Things: Part I

I love, love, LOVE bags that thank me and wish me a pleasant day. Especially when they're burrito filled and handed over by the "No hablo Ingles" delivery man. Exquisite entrepreneurial manners at their finest, if I do say so myself.
Just think, if everyone was forced to sack their wares in these bags the world would be cured of buyer's remorse, depression, eating disorders, and rosacea! Support our Troops!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Quiz of the day!


Urbana is most likely to get laid in Malawi, in a government office.



QuizUniverse.com


Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

Friday, March 03, 2006

Today's Flavor Is:


Holy fudgy cow patties creamed with coffee flavor! Are those chocolate cookie crumbs in your bed?!
You may be asking yourself: How does Orudis know about that night I had with What's-His-Name from Max Fish?
Well DUH silly! It's because I was there of course! Me and my newest friend Vermonty Python!
This shit's so good you'll want to throw it up, freeze it, and eat it again...or just have a million of its babies.

To: Jerry and Ben (aka the Lady Slayers)
From: Menstrual Cycles Everywhere
Re: Vermonty Python
Msg: Thank you.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Paper Doll Madonna



madonna paper doll



Madonna should go with this look next. yes?

Someone fly me to Mexico.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Friday, February 24, 2006

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Source: Cheney was Drunk



Our Friend, Doug Thompson over at Capitol Hill Blue reports today that Vice President Dick Cheney was infact drunk when he shot Texas lawyer Harry Whittington.

"...Cheney exhibited "visible signs" of impairment, including slurred speech and erratic actions, the report said.

According to those who have read the report and talked with others present at the outing, Cheney was drunk when he gunned down his friend and the day-and-a-half delay in allowing Texas law enforcement officials on the ranch where the shooting occurred gave all members of the hunting party time to sober up.
...

"This was a South Texas hunt," says one White House aide. "Of course there was drinking. There's always drinking. Lots of it."'

HOLD UP

Feb. 21 (Bloomberg) -- Sasha Cohen of the U.S. edged past figure skating world champion Irina SLUTSKAYA to top the women's short program at the Winter Olympics in Turin, Italy.

SLUTSKAYA

discuss

Friday, February 17, 2006

Apparently, Old News...



This morning on Q104, DJ Jim Kerr announced that recent research found that Beer bellies are in fact not caused by beer! Great news, yes? But late-breaking? no. After a little Urbana research time, I found the original article on which the radio broadcast was based. The Beer Belly Myth was published in late September of 2003! News is just traveling a bit to fast these days. But thanks to some bright researchers in the Czech Republic (go go pilser urquell) we can blame our spare tires on other enemies, like bagels.

Here's a clip from the article...

The researchers found that when corrected for factors such as smoking, there was no significant link between beer drinking and a beer belly — and women who drank beer tended to weigh less, rather than more, than those who did not.

"It is unlikely that beer intake is associated with a largely increased waist-hip ratio or body mass index," the researches wrote in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition. "The association between beer and obesity, if it exists, is probably weak."


No worries little kitty, that gut is probably due to your poor life style choices such as diet and excersise and probably has nothing to do with that cold, crisp tecate. Cheers.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Wishbone movie

We've gotta keep up with the new technology and trends. Here's our first video link.

Dick Cheney v. "Wedding Crashers" - Life Imitating Art

This past Wednesday (February 15), Vice President Dick Cheney finally admitted that he shot a friend while hunting over the weekend. The media's got its panties all up in a bunch over the fact that he waited over 72 hours to go public with this announcement. But what REALLY interests me about this whole debacle is how the same exact thing happened to Vince Vaughn's character in the hysterical summer blockbuster, "Wedding Crashers."


Vaughn's character was even hit with the same type of bullet! You know, the kind that you hunt birds with - it's basically just a little packet of gunpowder that explodes into hundreds of bits when you fire it in order to more easily target a flying bird. In "Wedding Crashers," this type of bullet hit Vaughn in the rear ...with hilarious results! With Cheney, however, the hilarity is not so great - his friend was said to be hit with anywhere from 5 but less than 200 bits of gun powder, one which lodged into his heart but thankfully was not fatal.

Methinks Cheney has watched this movie too many times. I always suspected the Bush administration was a Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson fan, but come ON boys... What's next, an "Old School" imitation?! Taco Belle certainly hopes so.

For more info on this late-breaking news, click here

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

KISSING TIGERS - Part One Of "Bands T. Belle Has Funny Stories About"

Where have the music reviews gone? Welllll... Taco Belle has been busy getting married, entertaining her visiting boyfriend and propositioning Orudis KT and Urbana into being her lesbian lovas. BUT NOW SHE'S ALL BUSINESS.

To get back into the spirit of music blogging, I (yes it's first person narrative time) thought it would be amusing to write about bands that are a) talented, and b) good friends of mine. First up - KISSING TIGERS!

Hailing from Santa Barbara, San Diego and Los Angeles (respectively), Kissing Tigers is a most excellent indie electro rock band comprised of 5 babes - Jim, Dave, Mark, Eugene and Dan. They've played with the likes of Goblin Cock and they party like no other band I've ever known. Here are some amusing anecdotes/facts about each member:



JIM - The first time I ever met this sassy red head he was so drunk that he did a stage dive right on top of me ...at a bar.


DAVE -This stud's got a lady in every city.


MARK - Believe it or not, this foxy filipino just recently cut off his fro... Unfortunate, yes, but he's still the sweetest guy I know. He likes to hug a lot and he's got really adorable pj's.


EUGENE - This tall drink of water just so happens to reside with my boyfriend. He also just so happens to be a gigantic stoner and (according to my bf) he never cleans the apartment. SIGH! A man after T. Belle's own heart...


DAN - And last but not least, this adorable chap is my own personal partner in crime. Dan enjoys shotgunning beers, taking shots and helping me take kegstands (although he also enjoys them himself). His favorite joke is as follows: Q-How many mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb, A-only Juan (said in horrible mexican accent).

So. If you're not in love with these boys from their short descriptions alone, then let their music convince you!

Wood Burning Scent: the latest in Spring fashion

On January 26th, a fire ripped through the building on Prince and Broadway that housed American Eagle, Interview magazine, and the infamous Rem Koolhaas designed Prada store. The building faced smoke and water damge leaving millions of dollars of Prada clothes, shoes, and bags unsalvageable. Now, 3 weeks later all hope is NOT lost, a sale appears on Smartbargains.com. Wouldn't you know it, Prada handbags, 55% off. I wonder if that fine Italian leather or croco rare animal du jour is gonna smell like a wet dog when it arrives at your door. Hurry! only 4 left.

Scenes from the Fire Escape of Dreams

URBANATIME BLIND ITEM:

What sexy doctor drama star turned hollywood royal turned hottest over the hill man alive is currently less than 100 yards away from Urbana? Granted, these are vertical yards, this said actor is filming a movie in the alleyway outside my office. I spent the morning dangling outside the window on the fire escape looking down over said actor holding a giant loaf of french bread doing a scene with another man holding about 10 loaves of french bread.



More about the movie here:
IMDB, Michael Clayton

If you need me, I'll be hanging by Craft Services.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

What I want for Valentines day. by Urbana

So I know all of you have been staying up all night sweating about what to get me for St. Valentine's Day. Since that day is here and you have about 5 more hours to present me my gift, I thought I'd give any last minute shoppers a nice hint.


Here's the hint:




OH GOD OH GOD! Are you buckling over in pain? Are you overwhelmed with the need to HUG? Are you trying not to cry at your desk in front of your boss? Get me one of these and after I'm done hugging this incredible creature, I will hug you, and maybe even slip you the tongue.

See it all (and more) at my new favorite slacksite.
Cuteoverload.com

It's a crime fighting themed day.



Happy Valentines Day! May you someday find that special person who will pose super hero style and wear matching fleece pull-overs with you. Here's to growing old and being fucking awesome.

Love Love Love,
Urbana

We abhor terrorism in all forms, but....



HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Law and Order: Special Valentine's Unit

Happy Valenstein's day from your favorite freight-train-franchise series!!



And a HUGE HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Lars!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Snotcicles and Rosa Parks

Black History Month can't get much whiter.






This post is dedicated to the Food Network's resident racial enigma, Bobby Rivers.