Thursday, June 28, 2007

Crush of the week

This week's crush of the week is the Apple iphone which comes out tomorrow. I think this is the only PDA that made me get butterflies and feel immediately that I needed it. Blackberries can eat it. Trio's are junky junk. This thing looks delicious. Gushing aside, I'd like to dedicate this post to the employees of Apple stores all around the world. Today will be your last day of peace, quiet and a full 30 minute lunch break. Tomorrow, your store will be jam packed with apple geeks, rich graphic designers, PR sluts, my uncle, media ho's, social climbers, and name droppers. My heart goes out to you.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Monday, June 25, 2007

How do we avoid this?

Ladies beware! Your dates may start something like this...

And 20 years later you wake up next to this...

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Three-Way Wednesday

Just add you!

You have F%&@ed up now.

Take a minute to look at my favorite sketch comedy skit of the week. This one is from The Whitest Kids You Know. Though this show seems to be on Fuse constantly, most of their skits are on YouTube.

Calm down, just calm down!

thank you.
These kids are the next gen of Bruce, Mark, Kevin, Scott, and Daves. Ah man, I love those guys. For their sake, meet the Daves I know.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

A New Pack for your Back

We've all heard of such notorious groups as the Rat Pack(Frank, Dean, Sammy etc), the Brat Pack(Molly, Emilio, Demi), and the Frat Pack(Vince, Ben, Will). Today, I would like to introduce to you, The Crack Pack. Thats right, you heard it here first on Urbantime! The Crack Pack has an elite membership of these fine, upstanding citizens....

This Week Only!

Urbana is in NYC this week! Look out for her roaming around town, sweating too much, and window shopping.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Theory: Matt Stone and Trey Parker have watched The Party Animal

I'm watching South Park right now and there was a scene with Cartman and Jimmy (crutches) where Jimmy was on a date and Cartman hid in the bushes telling Jimmy the right things to say through earphones which happened to be gigantic. Maybe thats a normal recurring funny in sitcoms but it is also a brilliant scene in my favorite movie, The Party Animal.

The scene is pretty much the same where Pondo Sinatra is on a date (with a thespian) and Studley is "hiding" in the bushes to tell Pondo the right things to say to this girl. Both characters wear enormous headphones to which the girl is oblivious.

My theory is that South Park creators 1. are aware of The Party Animal 2. Love it so much to borrow from it. This makes Urbana really happy and I would like to watch that movie now. If you are unaware of Pondo and his musings, take a brief look at this clip. The clip hosts possibly the best dancing in a movie ever, also possibly the most gratuitous drug scene ever. Enjoy.

Great Moments in Urbana's Halloween History.

We all know how much I love Halloween. I missed it last year because I was at a farm house outside of Buenos Aires making jam out of kumquats (so delicious). This year's Oct 31 is creeping up on us and its never to early to start thinking of your outfit. I'd like to share with you some of my favorites through the years.

1. The year I was a Mexican...

2. The year Allison was an Arab...

3. And the year I couldn't fit out the door and fell on my face walking up people's stairs...

I really wish Allison and I planned to represent ethnicities on the same year. My brother could have been a black guy.

Look A Like!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Vote for the 7 Wonders of the World

You can vote for the 7 wonders of the world. Did you know the Statue of Liberty is in the running? Make sure it doesn't win by voting for something else here! I mean Ms. Liberty is pretty neat but certainly not as neat as this....

Vote here:

Our Favorite McConaughey moments.

Good Morning Olsen Twins!

Its almost 5pm here in Eastern Standard Time. Its just about time for Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen to be waking up after their 21st birthday bash last night.

So Good Morning ladies! Its time to wake up and get ready for life, get a job, move out of your parents house, and come to terms with the real world. Suckas!

Huh, what? They already run a multinational billion dollar business? They've owned their own house since 18? They date(d) Argentine Polo players and David Katzenberg? Oh, ok then. I guess my personal life competition with the Olsens is falling off track. I am however, a few years OLDER! Take that minnie mice! Oh yeah, I can rent a car before you can.

In other news, I cleaned out my closet today to make a few donations to the Salvation Army.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

OMG I can't believe I'm writing about Paris Hilton

Now the real question is, does this or does this not make me a legitimate journalist?


A Newfound Distaste for Martha Stewart

I'm watching TV this morning. First, I watched my Tivo taping of Conan O'Brien from last night. Feist performed and the crew from Grizzly Bear were her backup singers! When the show was done, I switched to live TV which happened to be Martha Stewart. Crooner Tony Bennett was her guest. An audience member asked Martha about what's in her hand bag, so we all went through it together. Martha carries around a piles of papers, unfinished columns for Martha Mag, tons of keys, and a huge, bound, plastic sheet covered list of all her contacts and their phone numbers. Anecdote time!

Martha tells a story about how this past weekend, she needed someone's number so she busts out the mega-plastic coated list, and BHSHAW! the number is not there! She then goes on to bust her assistant's balls on the air. "My assistant should know I need this number, especially someone who's been working for me since last January." she says, Tony Bennett still sitting beside her.

Now, I know its difficult to capture the passive-aggresiveness to this comment, but use your martha imagination. My heart goes out to her assistant. This person's insides must be like dried up charcoal, her lust for life down to one tiny piece of glitter sparkle, her brick wall piled 5 deep, and her tear ducts sewn shut.

Martha should learn not to be a heinous person on her daytime cooking show, especially not when sitting next to TONY BENNETT! Be a lady, not a douchebag. Go hang out with Rosie O'Donnell. Go back to Jail.

Good day, sunshine

A poem for you on this glorious Wednesday.

Good morning, Good MORNING!
Oh the sun is SHINING
Birdies are SINGING
Ladies are THINKING
Boys are PLAYING
Dads are WORKING
Grandmas are KNITTING
Dogs are WINKING
Cars are GOING
Brintney is UGLYING

I'm sorry, were you scared? I was too! Oh man, that was nuts, so fucking scary. I was shakin in my sandals. I had goose bumps everywhere! Oh geez, I need a whiskey, or an advil, or a nap. MAN.

For relief:

have a good one!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Crush of the week

This week, I have a crush on Sasha Baron Cohen.
1. He kissed Will, I'm jealous. (yes, I watched the mtv movie awards)
2. Likes dancing
3. Seems kind
4. probably makes pancakes
5. not afraid to get a good tan

Things the good outweigh:
1. Borat, the movie
2. Pregnant girlfriend (wife?)
3. British (Yuck)

SAT Prep Time

One of these things is not like the other!


If you get the answer right, you could win a prize!

P.s. I know this is not new information, but repetition is essential to the learning process.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Fourth Meal

Have you checked this out? Fourth Meal
You can play games with your tacos! Crunchy, Spicy, Melty or Grilled, I could play these games all day! Especially if the day looks something like my day today....
woke up,
ate an english muffin and drank coffee on the deck,
read some newspaper,
watched 2 hours of TLC while grooming (thats the only detail you get),
played soccer with the dog,
took the dog on a 5 minute walk but it was too hot so we turned around,
took a shower,
deposited some checks (i did have a job),
you tubed "Dueling Banjos",
made a margarita,
ate dinner,

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Weekly: If you can't grow a beard, don't

Hello and welcome to the first week of "If you can't grow a beard, don't" where we at Urbanatime feature the worst facial hair of the moment. This week's IYCGBD winner, singer-songwriter John Mayer. Its on again-off again all the time for this guy lately. We'd like to suggest OFF AGAIN. We're not talking Simpson, we're talking flavor savors.

I am bummed because this picture sucks. The inspiration picture is lost somewhere in the www. If you find a better one, send it over lovies!

Saving grace: He admits it.

from an interview in 2002 with Chris McKay from
CM: I read in Billboard you were taking a month of to grow a beard (laughs)?

JM: I couldn't do it (laughs).

CM: What, you couldn't get the month off or you couldn't grow the beard?

JM: I got stuck in the Donnie Wahlberg stage. It was kind of a "Hangin' Tough" thing.

For more filled out moustaches, check this other John Mayer out.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Bringin it back

Howdy friends! It's been far too long and finally I am inspired again. Today I would like to start a movement titled "drop-waist dresses are ugly" or DWDU. (try pronouncing that acronym, you get it?) By the good mother mary, can we please start a collective NO to these fashion tragedies? (see below)

If you haven't already poked your eyes out with burning sticks, know that this number is a GO collection piece from the Patrick Robinson line for Target.

This poor model has spent every evening for the past 2 years in front of the tv doing 500 crunches a night only to cover her hard work with this tub sling. I can not condone this behavior.

How do you feel?