Urbana Time

Separated at Birth (more!)

2008-03-18T11:35:00.002-04:00

"Hard out here to be a pimp" Terrence Howard look like he shared the womb with our girl, America's Next Top Model (she's got it in here {point to soul})

Eva Pigford!

Separated at Birth!

2008-03-17T13:35:00.002-04:00

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, the spawn of 2 hyper-attractive human specimens may possibly be the twin sister of...

Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

It's most likely true.

Yup, still scary

2007-12-22T16:42:00.000-05:00

Dear Jordy,
Please put your lady on bed rest.
Thank you,
The world.

Keeping up with Denise

2007-12-14T13:07:00.000-05:00

Unflattering Pregnancies...

2007-12-13T10:46:00.000-05:00

Many woman get a glow when warming a bun. Not our friend xtina! Poor thing pushing that belly out... Maybe she just ate a couple extra tacos for dinner last night.

Meet Fanny Clapp

2007-11-14T16:53:00.000-05:00

If only she'd found a nice Dick Hertz from Holden to love they could've signed their Christmas cards:
Always,
Dick n' Fanny

Batmanz

2007-11-01T01:20:00.000-04:00

Urbana and Liebmann did it up for Halloween! Check it.

Daytime TV Hosts' Costumes!

2007-10-31T17:42:00.000-04:00

1. Ellen Degeneres as Preggo J.Lo

2. Regis and Kelly as Harry Potter and Hermione

3. The Today Show

4. Ms. Martha!

and thats all i can find. Pretty much i just think ellen is difficult to look at like that. There's the inspiration.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN COOKIE PUSSIES!

Whoz dis guy? Mr. Balloons!

2007-10-29T12:18:00.000-04:00

This video makes Urbana very happy!

St. Nick's Appearance on the Today Show!

2007-10-29T11:53:00.000-04:00

Josh Turner sings on TODAY

Watch this video to see our pal, St. Nick's daytime tv debut!

Clear Blue Easy Space Station Alien Baby Test

2007-10-19T16:45:00.001-04:00

Ricky Martin Week!

2007-10-18T15:25:00.000-04:00

THE CUP OF LIFE! SHAKE YOUR BON-BON! Ladies and Gays, its Ricky Martin Celebration week. This week is just for Ricky because after all these years, he has finally received his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. This past Tuesday in Hollywood, CA, Ricky Bent down to touch his gold [dirt] star.

Congrats Ricky! Puerto Rican Pride!

Celebrate "Livin la Vida Loca Week" by:
1. creating a construction paper chain for the countdown to Mtv's new show, "Making Menudo." Premieres one week from today so chain would have 7 links.

2. Finding your nearest Karaoke bar and choosing "Cup of Life" spanish version.

3. Attending the Shake your Bon-Bon contest at Priya's house this friday 8pm est. Byob.

and last

4. Not admitting you're gay. Ricky we Support! (you in your bathing skivvs)

Get in the Ricky spirit. Ole!

Fun Pet Costumes:

2007-10-10T17:40:00.000-04:00

When thinking about fido this holiday season, consider these fine options for dressing your bff.

Your pet will love celebrating the dinner of the new world in this cute Plymouth Plantation outfit.

Oui Oui, Has your little friend gotten a little snooty recently? Show him who's boss with this Brie cheese and bordeax inspired number.

Nothing says "I'm still a virgin" like dressing your pet up as star wars characters. Let people know what you need!

Isn't your pet funny?! So funny. I agree.

Pup been reading too much? Is it raining? nothing is better than dogs with raingear on. its very natural!

This is the rocker dog look. Dress your pet in the outfit that shows everyone that "every rose does have its thorn." Bandana included.

I hope you are feeling inspired to dress your cats and dogs. Cats really love wearing clothes. God Bless.

Halloween Costume #5

2007-10-01T14:01:00.000-04:00

Did your friends already claim Urbana's costume ideas and now you don't know what to do? I understand the frustration and I thank you for coming back to Urbanatime for more inspiration. Here's one for your inner tv on dvd lover.

5. Jessica Fletcher

TO create this costume, you will need one blond wig:

One sweater (cardigan a plus):

One modest double strand string of pearls:

One kickin' pair of Easy Spirits:

Long Ladies Skirt:

Add a gallon of gumption, a cool demeanor, and 3 lbs of fresh maine lobster and you're ready for candy grabbbin!

Potential Halloween Costumes: You Vote!

2007-09-27T16:10:00.000-04:00

Urbana has so many ideas for her favorite holiday coming up. HALLOWEEN! Here's a few ideas...
1. Large Marge

2. Victoria Beckham

3. Hamburgler

4. Fourth of July Lady

What do you think!?

Urbana's Favorite Things about Fall, part 1

2007-09-21T17:37:00.000-04:00

This afternoon, it started feeling like Fall again. This year I am super psyched up for FALL weather since I haven't really seen it for 2 years! Here are some, just some of my favorite fall things... feel free to add your own.

1. Where I work in Boston, the cool sea air comes breezing by in the afternoon and it smells like the beach.
2. Sweatpants and Hoodies
3. Pumpkins Pumpkins Pumpkins!
4. An abundance of FUN SIZE candy bars! WOO WOO WOO WOO can I hear a HOO HA!

Yes, this afternoon, I went to the corner store to buy windex and paper towels and right on the counter was a big bowl of FUN SIZE Butterfingers, my all time favorite. I got one and it was GLORIOUS! Then I spent the next 10 minutes sucking the crisp butter center out of my teeth! YAY.

HAPPY FALL!
Countdown to Halloween: 38 days!

Urbana's Home Remedies

2007-09-21T12:06:00.000-04:00

Why pay $100 or more for expensive spa treatments? Cut your own hair and save $50 plus tips. Paint your own toenails and save $20 plus gangrene. Now here's the real deal, instead of those fancy colonics all the actresses are hitting up, take control!

Home Remedy #1: Who needs a colonic when there's Starbucks in town?

You see its all very simple. Walk to your closest Starbucks. (there should be one within 5 blocks of either your home or office) Order yourself a Venti iced coffee (sweetened or unsweetened, your choice) and Drink Up!

Wait a few minutes, and SHAZAMM, instant colonic without hospital gown. Look at Urbana, saving you all some money!

Incase you aren't sure of what a colonic really is, take a lookie...

A day without Labor

2007-08-31T15:56:00.001-04:00

Yes, Have a very happy Labor Day. I will be going to Martha's Vineyard to hang out at the Kennedy compound with Buffy and Skippy. To KICKSTART your weekend, here are some pics to pump up your jam.

Turn up your volume and rock!

Captain Zoom's Birthday Message

2007-08-29T16:15:00.000-04:00

Space command to Zoom
All systems are go for your message to Urbana!

Hey, Urbana!
It's your birthday!
I'm in charge of the stars
And I'm here to say,
'cause Urbana,
You're the BIG STAR today!

My name is Zoom
And I live on the moon
But I came down to earth
Just to sing you this tune
Hey, Urbana,
It's your birthday today!

A present for you
I wanted to find
An outerspace creature
A one of a kind!
A wild whop or a kukelchoo,
An apple drop or a buzzardstew
Or maybe a 3-eyed tickleshay
For your birthday

Did you ask:
"uh, what's a kukelchoo?"
Well, up on the moon it's nothing new
But that won't do for you,
On your birthday!

I searched behind the clouds and stars
I even zoomed my bike to Mars
And met my friend the saucer man
And he said:
"Hey Zoom I got the bestest plan!
What your friend needs is something new,
So how about a song, just from YOU?"

And so tonight when you're in bed
I'll be singing to you as I zoom overhead
Singing, Urbana! Happy Birthday
Singing, Urbana! Happy Birthday
Singing, Urbana! Happy Birthday

To you!

Happy Birthday, Urbana!
See you next year!

Crush of the week: Young Chevy Chase

2007-08-28T21:37:00.000-04:00

I'm currently watching a "Glory days of SNL" show on NBC covering 1975-1980. Need I say more, young, (inevitably coke and booze filled) Chevy Chase is pretty good looking and funny, therefore, Urbana Time's Crush of the Week. Here are some highlights...

Last Those Girls Party

2007-08-28T21:27:00.000-04:00

The last Those Girls dance party at Botanica was yet another success! I love all you guys coming and hanging with us for a bit! Sometime soon, we're busting out on FRIDAY! Stay tuned for that. otherwise, here are some highlights of the beautiful people who came.

My pal, our bartender, Fiore

DJ This Girl and CSS's Luisa

click for big size

A fun quiz!

2007-08-04T00:55:00.001-04:00

This is the Sexual Obituary quiz.

What is your Sexual Obituary?

Suddenly just before orgasm, Urbana died while in the sack with their lover, Justin Timberlake.

Urbana will be terribly missed by Justin Timberlake.

'What is your Sexual Obituary?' at QuizUniverse.com

How did you die?

What it means to be in Maine...

2007-08-04T00:17:00.000-04:00

Hi Loyal readers,
For the next couple weeks, I will be in Bar Harbor, Maine, sitting on babies and pretending I'm a shark or mermaid or actually a nice person who is good with kids. Hehe, most likely I will be eating luxurious lobster rolls while you microwave last night's burrito leftovers. Doesn't it suck to be not-urbana? i know!

something like this...

or
with chowda!!

While you're thinking of New England, here's a few fun phrases...
Dick Hertz from Holden = a mysterious gentleman
Wicked = very/really
No Sah! = no sir
bosox = the only baseball team that matters
bubblah = waterfountain
What color is your bike? = What color is your penis?
aka. Do you have a bike? = Do you have a penis?
masshole = ME!
Packie = package store aka. liquor store

Please note: the bike slang i believe was only used during school bus Mini 1 rides, yes MINI 1. the short bus.

Who am I? What am I doing here on this earth?

2007-08-02T12:08:00.000-04:00

What if boobs had no nipples? Would we still cover them the way we do? Would we wear them like we wear our elbows, knees, and toes? (meaning uncovered and free!)

This picture from PerezH made me think about that.

I mean, of course, there is no purpose for the boob besides the nub, but lets forget about feeding babies for a second.

Urbana's Gag Hour

2007-07-30T18:41:00.000-04:00

Hey Y'all. I would like to share my latest tattoo with you...

Just kidding! I meant, I want to share something I don't really enjoy looking at. Self expression is a wonderful thing, yes. However, right now I would like to make a special ode to clothing. First, take a look at my inspiration for the ode, then read the ode.

Nice panties.

The mandolin is a beautiful instrument.

WTF, Dad!

Ode to Clothing
by Urbana

Clothes Clothes, how I love you
Wrap me in your soft cotton
silk, linen, polyester, rayon, spandex
whatever you are, cover me.

Blue Jeans, black jeans, acid washed
Pants are great for day or night
Pants are even for bedtime
wear the pijama bottoms.

Shirts are nice when iron pressed
wear to church or to a rock show
short-sleeves, long sleeves
no sleeves, tube tops

Clothes come in all shapes
all sizes for all people
they are pink, purple, green and more
soft, stiff, wooley, stretchy.

I love when people wear clothes.

Say Goodbye to July with THOSE GIRLS!

2007-07-27T14:48:00.000-04:00

Urbana's Big Top (not a shirt)

2007-07-17T18:30:00.001-04:00

At one point about 5 months ago, I was living in Argentina, loving life, and seriously thought about joining the circus. Inspired by a 3 day circus camp-out I attended in October outside of Buenos Aires, I took a circus class at the local circus school. It was 4 hours of juggling, balance, aerobics, stretching, tumbling, and then Rope acrobatics! It was truly a humbling experience. I considered myself fairly able to do the occasional somersault, cartwheel, even back bend, but this was something else. My body hurt for 2 weeks and my ab muscles popped out (in a bad way).
Here's a pic from the circus weekend:

Really, it was awesome. Every night there was a performance and afterwards a huge dance party with South American circus kids (dreds, piercings, funny pants, tattoos, peace love and harmony etc).

Anyway, today I came across this video through www.beinghunted.com and was so sweetly reminded of why the circus is really cool. I even looked up buying a unicycle. One is available in the Boston area for only 55 bucks. Sold!

Feist Commercials

2007-07-11T23:39:00.000-04:00

Every time I turn on the tv, there's a commercial with a Feist song in it. The latest, the preview commercial of a new show on ABC. Now, I like what I hear so far from Feist, but the commercializing of her album is frustrating and makes me think she's a bit too digestible, like Coldplay. Besides, why buy the album when you can just steal it from your brother's computer, er, I mean, watch tv for an hour and hear the whole thing. Here's a few of the commercials...

Lacoste Men's Fragrance

Verizon Wireless, LG Chocolate

EBAY (only in Australia)

The same song in Kink.FM Portland Radio

Hanes Tshirt (Homemade?)

and on and on and on! I'm positive there's another. If you go on youtube, Feist is the new IT song choice for homemade commercials. May I suggest a selection from the new Interpol Album, or possibly the Hairspray sountrack.

Crush of the Week: Demitri Martin

2007-07-11T23:13:00.000-04:00

I'm watching the Daily Show right now. I think its a repeat. Demitri Martin just gave a stupid commentary about VISA cards targeting young people like college grads and man, did he look cute doing it. Maybe its just because he's sitting next to Jon Stewart, not cute (hair gel), but funny and important in making politics and news hip with the kids (good personality). Anyway, Didn't Demitri used to have glasses? Now he's got the slightly unattractive guy made cute by moppy haircut look aka Ringo Starr 1964. Maybe he's sensitive. Maybe he's a fox.

Regardless, he is Urbanatime's Crush of the Week for this week in July!

Fashions for the 4th

2007-07-02T17:20:00.000-04:00

We're all wondering, where can I find some great fashions to express my love-of-country? Fear no more, your answers are here! A variety of styles will help you decide which look you'll be going for this year while watching Fireworks! (man, i love fireworks) I will be wearing a flag hat I found down in South Carolina at the incredible "South of the Border" oasis. This is the year to show everyone the pride inside!

For a business casual 4th...
Show the team at the office who loves the U.S.A. the most. Buy it at Oysterbaycasuals.com

for a sexy 4th...
Do an on-purpose bad body paint job so boys can see your nipples through the tempera. You'll be sure to raise your self esteem a few points.

For the all out Patriotic gal...
Your husband and brother are both in Iraq. Tell them who is the best with this jem of an outfit. the skirt and top are separate so you could probably pair them with jeans or a T for your day-to-day look. Buy it Here!

For a Vietnam Protest style...
Check out your dad's closet or your local Salvation Army. Get dressed while listening to that Jimi Hendrix album you have hidden in your closet. (we all had the Jimi phase, you know you own it)

For a NJ style...
If you love America but don't really like whats doing on politically, try this.

For the balls-to-the-wall Patriot...
Tell the evil-doers to "Eat My Shorts!"

If your kid is named Maddox...
Order online now! Patriot-mall.com

If your dog is feeling extra patriotic...
Buy it here, Smalldogclothing.com

I hope your outfit is as cool as mine. Good luck shoppers!
Go Red white and blue.

Crush of the week

2007-06-28T00:37:00.000-04:00

This week's crush of the week is the Apple iphone which comes out tomorrow. I think this is the only PDA that made me get butterflies and feel immediately that I needed it. Blackberries can eat it. Trio's are junky junk. This thing looks delicious. Gushing aside, I'd like to dedicate this post to the employees of Apple stores all around the world. Today will be your last day of peace, quiet and a full 30 minute lunch break. Tomorrow, your store will be jam packed with apple geeks, rich graphic designers, PR sluts, my uncle, media ho's, social climbers, and name droppers. My heart goes out to you.

July 4th Eve!

2007-06-27T15:52:00.001-04:00

How do we avoid this?

2007-06-25T22:13:00.000-04:00

Ladies beware! Your dates may start something like this...

And 20 years later you wake up next to this...

Three-Way Wednesday

2007-06-20T17:01:00.000-04:00

Just add you!

You have F%&@ed up now.

2007-06-20T00:23:00.000-04:00

Take a minute to look at my favorite sketch comedy skit of the week. This one is from The Whitest Kids You Know. Though this show seems to be on Fuse constantly, most of their skits are on YouTube.

Calm down, just calm down!

thank you.
These kids are the next gen of Bruce, Mark, Kevin, Scott, and Daves. Ah man, I love those guys. For their sake, meet the Daves I know.

A New Pack for your Back

2007-06-19T23:53:00.000-04:00

We've all heard of such notorious groups as the Rat Pack(Frank, Dean, Sammy etc), the Brat Pack(Molly, Emilio, Demi), and the Frat Pack(Vince, Ben, Will). Today, I would like to introduce to you, The Crack Pack. Thats right, you heard it here first on Urbantime! The Crack Pack has an elite membership of these fine, upstanding citizens....

This Week Only!

2007-06-19T11:10:00.000-04:00

Urbana is in NYC this week! Look out for her roaming around town, sweating too much, and window shopping.

Theory: Matt Stone and Trey Parker have watched The Party Animal

2007-06-15T22:59:00.000-04:00

I'm watching South Park right now and there was a scene with Cartman and Jimmy (crutches) where Jimmy was on a date and Cartman hid in the bushes telling Jimmy the right things to say through earphones which happened to be gigantic. Maybe thats a normal recurring funny in sitcoms but it is also a brilliant scene in my favorite movie, The Party Animal.

The scene is pretty much the same where Pondo Sinatra is on a date (with a thespian) and Studley is "hiding" in the bushes to tell Pondo the right things to say to this girl. Both characters wear enormous headphones to which the girl is oblivious.

My theory is that South Park creators 1. are aware of The Party Animal 2. Love it so much to borrow from it. This makes Urbana really happy and I would like to watch that movie now. If you are unaware of Pondo and his musings, take a brief look at this clip. The clip hosts possibly the best dancing in a movie ever, also possibly the most gratuitous drug scene ever. Enjoy.

Great Moments in Urbana's Halloween History.

2007-06-15T22:20:00.000-04:00

We all know how much I love Halloween. I missed it last year because I was at a farm house outside of Buenos Aires making jam out of kumquats (so delicious). This year's Oct 31 is creeping up on us and its never to early to start thinking of your outfit. I'd like to share with you some of my favorites through the years.

1. The year I was a Mexican...

2. The year Allison was an Arab...

3. And the year I couldn't fit out the door and fell on my face walking up people's stairs...

I really wish Allison and I planned to represent ethnicities on the same year. My brother could have been a black guy.

Look A Like!

2007-06-15T00:38:00.000-04:00

Vote for the 7 Wonders of the World

2007-06-14T17:43:00.000-04:00

You can vote for the 7 wonders of the world. Did you know the Statue of Liberty is in the running? Make sure it doesn't win by voting for something else here! I mean Ms. Liberty is pretty neat but certainly not as neat as this....

Vote here: New7wonders.com

Our Favorite McConaughey moments.

2007-06-14T17:03:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Olsen Twins!

2007-06-14T16:46:00.000-04:00

Its almost 5pm here in Eastern Standard Time. Its just about time for Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen to be waking up after their 21st birthday bash last night.

So Good Morning ladies! Its time to wake up and get ready for life, get a job, move out of your parents house, and come to terms with the real world. Suckas!

Huh, what? They already run a multinational billion dollar business? They've owned their own house since 18? They date(d) Argentine Polo players and David Katzenberg? Oh, ok then. I guess my personal life competition with the Olsens is falling off track. I am however, a few years OLDER! Take that minnie mice! Oh yeah, I can rent a car before you can.

In other news, I cleaned out my closet today to make a few donations to the Salvation Army.

OMG I can't believe I'm writing about Paris Hilton

2007-06-13T14:05:00.001-04:00

Now the real question is, does this or does this not make me a legitimate journalist?

discuss.

A Newfound Distaste for Martha Stewart

2007-06-13T11:01:00.000-04:00

I'm watching TV this morning. First, I watched my Tivo taping of Conan O'Brien from last night. Feist performed and the crew from Grizzly Bear were her backup singers! When the show was done, I switched to live TV which happened to be Martha Stewart. Crooner Tony Bennett was her guest. An audience member asked Martha about what's in her hand bag, so we all went through it together. Martha carries around a piles of papers, unfinished columns for Martha Mag, tons of keys, and a huge, bound, plastic sheet covered list of all her contacts and their phone numbers. Anecdote time!

Martha tells a story about how this past weekend, she needed someone's number so she busts out the mega-plastic coated list, and BHSHAW! the number is not there! She then goes on to bust her assistant's balls on the air. "My assistant should know I need this number, especially someone who's been working for me since last January." she says, Tony Bennett still sitting beside her.

Now, I know its difficult to capture the passive-aggresiveness to this comment, but use your martha imagination. My heart goes out to her assistant. This person's insides must be like dried up charcoal, her lust for life down to one tiny piece of glitter sparkle, her brick wall piled 5 deep, and her tear ducts sewn shut.

Martha should learn not to be a heinous person on her daytime cooking show, especially not when sitting next to TONY BENNETT! Be a lady, not a douchebag. Go hang out with Rosie O'Donnell. Go back to Jail.

Good day, sunshine

2007-06-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

A poem for you on this glorious Wednesday.

Good morning, Good MORNING!
Oh the sun is SHINING
Birdies are SINGING
Ladies are THINKING
Boys are PLAYING
Moms are BIRTHING
Dads are WORKING
Grandmas are KNITTING
Dogs are WINKING
Cars are GOING
Brintney is UGLYING

I'm sorry, were you scared? I was too! Oh man, that was nuts, so fucking scary. I was shakin in my sandals. I had goose bumps everywhere! Oh geez, I need a whiskey, or an advil, or a nap. MAN.

For relief: www.dailypuppy.com

have a good one!

Crush of the week

2007-06-12T23:07:00.000-04:00

This week, I have a crush on Sasha Baron Cohen.
reasons:
1. He kissed Will, I'm jealous. (yes, I watched the mtv movie awards)
2. Likes dancing
3. Seems kind
4. probably makes pancakes
5. not afraid to get a good tan

Things the good outweigh:
1. Borat, the movie
2. Pregnant girlfriend (wife?)
3. British (Yuck)

SAT Prep Time

2007-06-12T22:41:00.000-04:00

One of these things is not like the other!

a)
b)
c)

If you get the answer right, you could win a prize!

P.s. I know this is not new information, but repetition is essential to the learning process.

Fourth Meal

2007-06-11T21:02:00.000-04:00

Have you checked this out? Fourth Meal
You can play games with your tacos! Crunchy, Spicy, Melty or Grilled, I could play these games all day! Especially if the day looks something like my day today....
woke up,
ate an english muffin and drank coffee on the deck,
read some newspaper,
watched 2 hours of TLC while grooming (thats the only detail you get),
played soccer with the dog,
took the dog on a 5 minute walk but it was too hot so we turned around,
took a shower,
deposited some checks (i did have a job),
you tubed "Dueling Banjos",
made a margarita,
ate dinner,
blogged.

Weekly: If you can't grow a beard, don't

2007-06-09T19:04:00.000-04:00

Hello and welcome to the first week of "If you can't grow a beard, don't" where we at Urbanatime feature the worst facial hair of the moment. This week's IYCGBD winner, singer-songwriter John Mayer. Its on again-off again all the time for this guy lately. We'd like to suggest OFF AGAIN. We're not talking Simpson, we're talking flavor savors.

I am bummed because this picture sucks. The inspiration picture is lost somewhere in the www. If you find a better one, send it over lovies!

Saving grace: He admits it.

from an interview in 2002 with Chris McKay from Concertshots.com
CM: I read in Billboard you were taking a month of to grow a beard (laughs)?

JM: I couldn't do it (laughs).

CM: What, you couldn't get the month off or you couldn't grow the beard?

JM: I got stuck in the Donnie Wahlberg stage. It was kind of a "Hangin' Tough" thing.

For more filled out moustaches, check this other John Mayer out.

Bringin it back

2007-06-05T09:40:00.001-04:00

Howdy friends! It's been far too long and finally I am inspired again. Today I would like to start a movement titled "drop-waist dresses are ugly" or DWDU. (try pronouncing that acronym, you get it?) By the good mother mary, can we please start a collective NO to these fashion tragedies? (see below)

If you haven't already poked your eyes out with burning sticks, know that this number is a GO collection piece from the Patrick Robinson line for Target.

This poor model has spent every evening for the past 2 years in front of the tv doing 500 crunches a night only to cover her hard work with this tub sling. I can not condone this behavior.

How do you feel?

Moz's father revealed!

2006-06-20T16:06:00.000-04:00

You heard it first here on Friends Forever. NY1 anchor George Whipple needs to submit a DNA sample to Urbana's Paternity Shack on 2nd ave. to find out if its true.

You can't deny it any more Whipster!

Look-a-like!

2006-05-13T20:31:00.000-04:00

What a shitty time!

2006-04-25T16:13:00.000-04:00

I smell road trip to Ashby Massachusetts (only 1 town away from Pepperell and a fridge full of my dad's beer).

Ashby hosts Poop-a-palooza
Nashoba Publishing

It’s back by poop-ular demand ... bigger and better than ever.

Ashby Grange hosts the 5th annual Poop-a-Palooza on Saturday, May 13, on the Ashby town common from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Come one and all to this one-of-a-kind fertilizer festival.

Bring a bucket and grab some of the best manure available.

Meet Ashby’s Grand Pooh-bah and Poop Princess.

Live music will be provided by the 7 Coyotes, and the Ramblin’ Floyds.

Other highlights of the day include Walk-a-Llama, poop-doh play area for kids, unique “Got Poop?” T-shirts for sale along with poop-corn and pooh-tato chips, and a plant sale by the Legion Auxilliary.

All proceeds benefit the Heifer Project.

For more information, please call Debbie or Tom at (978) 386-2323.

Peep This Shizzle!

2006-04-19T17:43:00.000-04:00

Urbana's future hubby, y'all

Urbana Hits GAWKER!

2006-04-12T10:36:00.000-04:00

Does this mean I'm a legitimate person in the media? I'm now recognized as a contributor to pop culture?

YES, YES It does. I'm famous and you should be happy you know me. Celebratory dinner at Cipriani tomorrow night.

Click to see what i'm jibba jabbering about: Gawker Look Book

Let's resuscitate this beast...

2006-04-10T11:36:00.000-04:00

...with a post on why Mexico is dandy!

Mexico is great because booze and food are cheap (and who doesn't love tequila and burritos?!). Taco Belle loves it all... including these fine things that you can purchase at next to nothing. Enjoy and visit mexico today!

A Serious Dilemma.

2006-03-19T21:34:00.000-05:00

I have eaten some form of asian food for the past three days.

Japanese on Friday: I ate these rice balls with some weird form of fruit (I think it could've been a plum?) in the middle. Sorta weird tasting but I'm always up for a challenge. Later at work I felt like a giant bubble was forming in my stomach and would eventually explode.

Thai on Saturday: I ate tofu and string beans with spicy basil sauce. Delicious. Later that evening I felt like my stomach was tossing ninja stars around.

Thai on Sunday? ...ok, I know that eating more today was not the best decision, but I had leftovers! And surprisingly, no stomach ache!

But I have a dilemma: Since I am now aware that asian food will make me sick 2 out of 3 times, should I continue to eat it everyday?

Go Tell it on the Mountain

2006-03-19T18:13:00.000-05:00

Ode to Tanya Streeter: My Diving Queen
Oh Tanya,
In your wetsuit so silver,
Hold me in your massive lungs,
For the depths of 525 feet.
Six minutes in heaven,
And your heart?
Yeah, it still beats.
You ride your scooter to the office.

To party with Clooney and Ang Lee.

And when you get cold.
You luminate pee...

And for that I love you.
Forever and always my baby you'll be.

Kids say the darndest things

2006-03-17T00:29:00.002-05:00

Last night, coming back from the Isobel Campbell show at Southpaw, I was waiting for the G train and came across some sweet looking babies.

some close ups of the cuties:

Shrinky Dink!

2006-03-14T10:39:00.000-05:00

I want her for my key chain!

HOLLA!

2006-03-13T23:19:00.000-05:00

Daughter
Sister
Friend
Wife
Mother (of kitty)
Artist
Musician
Vegan
Seamstress
Costume Designer
Singer
and now...

STYLIST!

Congratulations our fine fairy friend! Mrs. Buick Prentice-Walsh stole the show on tonight's final episode of WE's original series "Style Me with Rachel Hunter." After 6 weeks away from family and friends and a few months in tormenting silence, Buick can stand up and shout to the mountains! We love you B!

The winning look:

It is safe to open your eyes again.

2006-03-13T15:36:00.000-05:00

After an early afternoon spent looking at poop related sites and throwing up in my mouth, I share this video in order to clear the horrendous images I have regrettably encountered.

Awesomeness, Thy Name Is Boggs

2006-03-10T13:51:00.000-05:00

I've been slacking on the music reviews, I KNOW. But quite frankly I only listen to 4 or 5 bands anymore because I can't stand the rest. Until last night, that is. I went to see Blood On The Wall at the Mercury Lounge (who were amazing by the way, just as I had anticipated). I knew that The Boggs were opening for them, and although I had never really heard their stuff before, I HAD heard great things about them so I showed up early to check them out.

...LIKE WOAH. This band seriously blew me away. Their music is a straight-up punch to the gut followed by a rush of adrenaline. They're a noise/experimental explosion straight outta Brooklyn. Are there any Brooklyn bands that AREN'T amazing? That answer is obviously no. And once again Brooklyn has managed to bring together a group of musicians who create sounds like nothing ever heard before. The Boggs have got it all - the tall/lanky, hipster lead singer who can scream/sing beautifully and who shreds the guitar harder than Tom Morello (ok I'm exaggerating a bit here, but it's a pretty accurate comparison); the mandatory androgynous girl singer who shakes the tamborine and bangs the cowbell; the tight pants/suspenders wearin', neck tattoo sportin', all around cool dude bass player; the 2nd guitarist with the native poncho and bandana (every band's gotta have one of these guys); and finally the tiny drummer with the Ringo bowl cut who sits hunched over the drums and really beats the crap out of them (in a good way, of course).

They killed it last night. And while they aren't quite finished mixing their debut album (I know this because I contacted them first thing this morning), you can still hear some of their awesomeness on their myspace page. Also here's a crappy picture of them. Sorry but it's the only one I could find.

CHECK THEM OUT IMMEDIATELY!

Orudis's Favorite Things: Part I

2006-03-09T13:07:00.000-05:00

I love, love, LOVE bags that thank me and wish me a pleasant day. Especially when they're burrito filled and handed over by the "No hablo Ingles" delivery man. Exquisite entrepreneurial manners at their finest, if I do say so myself.
Just think, if everyone was forced to sack their wares in these bags the world would be cured of buyer's remorse, depression, eating disorders, and rosacea! Support our Troops!

Quiz of the day!

2006-03-07T11:13:00.000-05:00

Urbana is most likely to get laid in Malawi, in a government office.

Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

Today's Flavor Is:

2006-03-03T08:12:00.000-05:00

Holy fudgy cow patties creamed with coffee flavor! Are those chocolate cookie crumbs in your bed?!
You may be asking yourself: How does Orudis know about that night I had with What's-His-Name from Max Fish?
Well DUH silly! It's because I was there of course! Me and my newest friend Vermonty Python!
This shit's so good you'll want to throw it up, freeze it, and eat it again...or just have a million of its babies.

To: Jerry and Ben (aka the Lady Slayers)
From: Menstrual Cycles Everywhere
Re: Vermonty Python
Msg: Thank you.

Paper Doll Madonna

2006-03-02T12:34:00.000-05:00

Madonna should go with this look next. yes?

Someone fly me to Mexico.

DOGS vs CATS

2006-02-27T16:06:00.000-05:00

Just cause...

The anti-cuteoverload.com

2006-02-24T11:43:00.000-05:00

Source: Cheney was Drunk

2006-02-22T17:57:00.000-05:00

Our Friend, Doug Thompson over at Capitol Hill Blue reports today that Vice President Dick Cheney was infact drunk when he shot Texas lawyer Harry Whittington.

"...Cheney exhibited "visible signs" of impairment, including slurred speech and erratic actions, the report said.

According to those who have read the report and talked with others present at the outing, Cheney was drunk when he gunned down his friend and the day-and-a-half delay in allowing Texas law enforcement officials on the ranch where the shooting occurred gave all members of the hunting party time to sober up.
...

"This was a South Texas hunt," says one White House aide. "Of course there was drinking. There's always drinking. Lots of it."'

HOLD UP

2006-02-22T12:05:00.000-05:00

Feb. 21 (Bloomberg) -- Sasha Cohen of the U.S. edged past figure skating world champion Irina SLUTSKAYA to top the women's short program at the Winter Olympics in Turin, Italy.

SLUTSKAYA

discuss

Apparently, Old News...

2006-02-17T11:18:00.000-05:00

This morning on Q104, DJ Jim Kerr announced that recent research found that Beer bellies are in fact not caused by beer! Great news, yes? But late-breaking? no. After a little Urbana research time, I found the original article on which the radio broadcast was based. The Beer Belly Myth was published in late September of 2003! News is just traveling a bit to fast these days. But thanks to some bright researchers in the Czech Republic (go go pilser urquell) we can blame our spare tires on other enemies, like bagels.

Here's a clip from the article...

The researchers found that when corrected for factors such as smoking, there was no significant link between beer drinking and a beer belly — and women who drank beer tended to weigh less, rather than more, than those who did not.

"It is unlikely that beer intake is associated with a largely increased waist-hip ratio or body mass index," the researches wrote in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition. "The association between beer and obesity, if it exists, is probably weak."

No worries little kitty, that gut is probably due to your poor life style choices such as diet and excersise and probably has nothing to do with that cold, crisp tecate. Cheers.

Wishbone movie

2006-02-16T12:34:00.000-05:00

We've gotta keep up with the new technology and trends. Here's our first video link.

Dick Cheney v. "Wedding Crashers" - Life Imitating Art

2006-02-16T11:06:00.000-05:00

This past Wednesday (February 15), Vice President Dick Cheney finally admitted that he shot a friend while hunting over the weekend. The media's got its panties all up in a bunch over the fact that he waited over 72 hours to go public with this announcement. But what REALLY interests me about this whole debacle is how the same exact thing happened to Vince Vaughn's character in the hysterical summer blockbuster, "Wedding Crashers."

Vaughn's character was even hit with the same type of bullet! You know, the kind that you hunt birds with - it's basically just a little packet of gunpowder that explodes into hundreds of bits when you fire it in order to more easily target a flying bird. In "Wedding Crashers," this type of bullet hit Vaughn in the rear ...with hilarious results! With Cheney, however, the hilarity is not so great - his friend was said to be hit with anywhere from 5 but less than 200 bits of gun powder, one which lodged into his heart but thankfully was not fatal.

Methinks Cheney has watched this movie too many times. I always suspected the Bush administration was a Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson fan, but come ON boys... What's next, an "Old School" imitation?! Taco Belle certainly hopes so.

For more info on this late-breaking news, click here

KISSING TIGERS - Part One Of "Bands T. Belle Has Funny Stories About"

2006-02-15T14:15:00.000-05:00

Where have the music reviews gone? Welllll... Taco Belle has been busy getting married, entertaining her visiting boyfriend and propositioning Orudis KT and Urbana into being her lesbian lovas. BUT NOW SHE'S ALL BUSINESS.

To get back into the spirit of music blogging, I (yes it's first person narrative time) thought it would be amusing to write about bands that are a) talented, and b) good friends of mine. First up - KISSING TIGERS!

Hailing from Santa Barbara, San Diego and Los Angeles (respectively), Kissing Tigers is a most excellent indie electro rock band comprised of 5 babes - Jim, Dave, Mark, Eugene and Dan. They've played with the likes of Goblin Cock and they party like no other band I've ever known. Here are some amusing anecdotes/facts about each member:

JIM - The first time I ever met this sassy red head he was so drunk that he did a stage dive right on top of me ...at a bar.

DAVE -This stud's got a lady in every city.

MARK - Believe it or not, this foxy filipino just recently cut off his fro... Unfortunate, yes, but he's still the sweetest guy I know. He likes to hug a lot and he's got really adorable pj's.

EUGENE - This tall drink of water just so happens to reside with my boyfriend. He also just so happens to be a gigantic stoner and (according to my bf) he never cleans the apartment. SIGH! A man after T. Belle's own heart...

DAN - And last but not least, this adorable chap is my own personal partner in crime. Dan enjoys shotgunning beers, taking shots and helping me take kegstands (although he also enjoys them himself). His favorite joke is as follows: Q-How many mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb, A-only Juan (said in horrible mexican accent).

So. If you're not in love with these boys from their short descriptions alone, then let their music convince you!

Wood Burning Scent: the latest in Spring fashion

2006-02-15T12:51:00.000-05:00

On January 26th, a fire ripped through the building on Prince and Broadway that housed American Eagle, Interview magazine, and the infamous Rem Koolhaas designed Prada store. The building faced smoke and water damge leaving millions of dollars of Prada clothes, shoes, and bags unsalvageable. Now, 3 weeks later all hope is NOT lost, a sale appears on Smartbargains.com. Wouldn't you know it, Prada handbags, 55% off. I wonder if that fine Italian leather or croco rare animal du jour is gonna smell like a wet dog when it arrives at your door. Hurry! only 4 left.

Scenes from the Fire Escape of Dreams

2006-02-15T11:15:00.000-05:00

URBANATIME BLIND ITEM:

What sexy doctor drama star turned hollywood royal turned hottest over the hill man alive is currently less than 100 yards away from Urbana? Granted, these are vertical yards, this said actor is filming a movie in the alleyway outside my office. I spent the morning dangling outside the window on the fire escape looking down over said actor holding a giant loaf of french bread doing a scene with another man holding about 10 loaves of french bread.

More about the movie here:
IMDB, Michael Clayton

If you need me, I'll be hanging by Craft Services.

What I want for Valentines day. by Urbana

2006-02-14T17:46:00.000-05:00

So I know all of you have been staying up all night sweating about what to get me for St. Valentine's Day. Since that day is here and you have about 5 more hours to present me my gift, I thought I'd give any last minute shoppers a nice hint.

Here's the hint:

OH GOD OH GOD! Are you buckling over in pain? Are you overwhelmed with the need to HUG? Are you trying not to cry at your desk in front of your boss? Get me one of these and after I'm done hugging this incredible creature, I will hug you, and maybe even slip you the tongue.

See it all (and more) at my new favorite slacksite.
Cuteoverload.com

It's a crime fighting themed day.

2006-02-14T15:39:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentines Day! May you someday find that special person who will pose super hero style and wear matching fleece pull-overs with you. Here's to growing old and being fucking awesome.

Love Love Love,
Urbana

We abhor terrorism in all forms, but....

2006-02-14T15:10:00.000-05:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Law and Order: Special Valentine's Unit

2006-02-14T10:45:00.000-05:00

Happy Valenstein's day from your favorite freight-train-franchise series!!

And a HUGE HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Lars!

Snotcicles and Rosa Parks

2006-02-12T14:37:00.000-05:00

Black History Month can't get much whiter.

This post is dedicated to the Food Network's resident racial enigma, Bobby Rivers.

Happy Friday!

2006-02-10T15:34:00.000-05:00

Take a little time to enjoy The View.

We're back LIVE!

2006-02-08T22:57:00.000-05:00

The grammys are still going, its 11pm and I just remembered I missed Beauty and the Geek Makeover episode when the geeks turn hot. Anyway, back to the music...

Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuce.

Jay-Z is the luckiest ugly guy on the planet.

As promised earlier, Mr. Jamie (can i get a OOOHHHhhhhh) Foxx. We said it first, lets not see any more of jamie foxx singing songs. We don't care. Our advice, always keep the memory of Eddie Murphy's "my girl wants to party all the time" close at hand in case of lapses of sanity.

On another note, Hurrah for marching bands being the It accessory to any great performance, Jeff Koon's Birthday Party at Deitch, Marc Jacobs Spring Collection, and now, Kanye West's Golddigger grammy performance. I'll soon dig out the old NMRHS band photos of Urbana.

and finally, Lauren says "Cheryl Crow just has pecs not boobs" BUT, earlier she also said "who the hell is this" during Paul McCartney's performance.
We make this pic a little larger for you to decide for yourself.

Thanks for tuning in during our first ever live blog! Not that any of you, besides me, actually did. BUT really THANKS.
Good nite.

LIVE from the 48th annual Grammy awards!

2006-02-08T21:46:00.000-05:00

Welcome to our first live blog from tonight's 48th annual Grammy award! We at Urbanatime would like to share our favorite grammy moments so far. It is currently 9:53

Orudis thinks Paul McCartney is boring. I say, he's much better live, when you're actually there.

Mariah had a full choir and a pastor to share the word. Lookin good Mimi!

Kelly Kelly Kelly, our girl, pulled in 2 grammys so far tonight. Your mamas are so proud!

Stay tuned for live Jamie FOXXXXX.

Urbana's reasons why not...

2006-02-07T10:33:00.000-05:00

1. Do not hang out in Murray Hill because....

2. DO hang out in either Fort Greene or Williamsburg because....

3. Do use hand rails for body parts other than hands because....

Thank you.

Urbana Says....

2006-02-02T10:20:00.000-05:00

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

"How Rude" star does Meth!

2006-02-01T17:46:00.000-05:00

Stephanie Tanner a.k.a. Jodie Sweetin appeared on Good Morning America this morning to talk about her recent drug of choice, Meth. This appearance is part of a series on GMA called "The Price of being a Child Star."

As you may know, meth takes a brutal toll on one's physical appearance. Here's Jodie right before her interview on GMA...

Here's a briefing on what happened:

When the show ended in 1995, she said she wanted to be a normal kid. She went to high school and college and by age 20 was married to a Los Angeles police officer — TV older sister Candice Cameron was in the wedding party.

But two years ago, she found herself dangerously addicted to one of the most debilitating drugs, methamphetamine. She said she was unemployed and bored and began simply by experimenting. Soon, she was using meth everyday.

The tabloid press reported a three-day bender as well as an intervention staged by her "Full House" castmates — including the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, John Stamos and Bob Saget.

Sweetin, 24, never went as far as to blame her life as a child star for her addiction, but said that it was difficult to discover who she truly was after the show ended.

See the full story here: Good Morning America on ABCnews.go.com

Please stay tuned on more details on the recently diagnosed "Full House Curse" with bios on every cast memeber and the bumps and obstacles in their respective roads of life.

Still Crazy after all these years... OH still crazy....

2006-01-31T15:08:00.000-05:00

Oprah's Transformation via Instyle.com

Oddly enough, her Poprah phase was not included in InStyle's transformation series. I really don't understand why such a pertinent phase of this successful woman's life could be so hastily ignored. I supppose Pope hats are not entirely in vogue due to extreme cases of Papal Hat Head. OR, maybe InStyle worships the devil....

For more information on the Poprah please visit our archived press here: http://urbanatime.blogspot.com/2005/04/and-papacy-goes-to_04.html

Taco Belles are Ringing!

2006-01-30T00:15:00.000-05:00

It's official! Ms. Taco Belle is now Mrs. Taco Belle Wypych. The happy couple were married on Friday afternoon. Celebrations will continue next next weekend where Mrs. TBW and I will be spinning tunes for your happy feet to jazz up to.

The couple is registered at Bed Bath and Beyond, Target, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, and Subway Sandwiches.

Happy Friday

2006-01-20T17:23:00.000-05:00

Cold Hard Fact Staring You In The Face

2006-01-18T17:43:00.000-05:00

First Stoner Rant of 2006, or Deerhoof: A Random Introduction

2006-01-17T20:32:00.000-05:00

You know what's really sweet to do when taking bong rips? Watch skate videos. That's right, get your bro on. I've always been in awe of skaters. To begin with, they're pretty much all babes. So there's that to factor in. Then, of course, there's the "holy crap I can't believe that dude just did that" aspect of it. I'm a lady, so I don't know the technical terms. And by technical, I mean retarded. It's all nonsense. Front side ollie tic tac? I just made that trick up but it might as well be real. Seriously, who decided to put words together like that? I'd like to know so that I can tell him what an ass munch he is. ANYWAY, my point was that some of the things these kids do on a piece of wood and some wheels is unbelievable. For a person to look at a sidewalk, a ledge, a staircase or any sort of concrete and think those tricks are possible, well, let's just say it takes a different kind of mind to have vision like that.

You know what's also sweet? Listening to electronic music. THAT'S RIGHT - SHE SAID ELECTRONIC! But let me explain myself. Electro music by European standards is crap, rave music is crap and pretty much all techno besides the stuff that I listen to is crap. This is all in my humble opinion, obviously. I like the following kinds of electro: Sincere, indie pop electro and crazy shit. Bands like Caribou and Manitoba fall into that first clump, while dudes like Aphex Twin fall into that last one. The thing that I like about both those categories is that most of the electro artists that I love have done work that could easily fall into either one. They're what you might call "multi-talented."

Speaking of crazy shit, for those of you that haven't checked out the band Deerhoof yet I have an assignment for you - Give yourself a wet-willy and pour a glass of water on the crotch of your pants cause you're missin out on the good things in life, my friend! Deerhoof is an amazing band that everyone knows about and is in love with except for you. (Not really, I just wrote that to make people feel uncool and want to find out more about them). But seriously, check them out.

The Cute Factor

2006-01-12T22:13:00.000-05:00

Happy Friday the 13th from one warm and fuzzy to another!

Cy, short for Cyclopes, a kitten born with only one eye and no nose, is shown in this photo provided by its owner in Redmond, Oregon, on Wednesday, Dec. 28, 2005.

Awww...Wait, WHAT THE !?#%

The Last Days of 2005.

2006-01-07T18:53:00.000-05:00

We'll start with the Manhattan! Gallery show back in November. This is Carol Lee and Ryan McGinley at the show.

The next day, Kelly and Urbana go upstate to Rockefeller State Park and see some nature.

The view from Grand Ferry park on a nice December Saturday.

Brett comes to town after finishing a 6 month stint in the Arizona desert chasing rattlesnakes around. At one point he was bit by a snake and the anti-venom and hospital visit bill was $98,000. We went to a party in a machine shop on Metropolitan where...

There was a bb gun shooting range indoors. Booze and bbs. Brett's friend, the guy at the far left, looks just like the head elf in the claymation Rudolf the Rednose Reindeer.

Then it was Orudis's and St. Nick's 24th birthday party at Musical Box.

Ja Rule was there...

And a few Chesters... (remember my personal motto, "if you can't grow a beard, Don't")

The crowd was smokin' hot.... But notice no pictures of the Saint. He was "busy" at the bar. Mad props my brother.

Later, Orudis and I watched Buttcrack, the worst movie of all time. Worse than "How to lose a guy in 10 days." But not all was lost, we learned a new song... "Put your beer goggles on and make love to me"

I went home to Pepperell to the parents' house for Christmas. This time, I learned it only takes this many remotes to turn on and successfully watch, with sound no less, ONE television show. Simple!

New Years Eve... East Village. Fun with 40's.

Today, Lauren and I went out to Scotch Plains, New Jersey, the place of my birth and first 3 years of life. This was my little old house. We spent the rest of the day checking out thrift shops around the area. We ended up with 2 necklaces, a scarf, a Gidget goes to Hawaii VHS, and a sweet Van Halen glitter picture. Also a couple nice sale items at Banana Republic in Westfield.

Here's to '06.

Happy New Year 2006!

2006-01-06T16:35:00.000-05:00

To see where this goes... click HERE

Taco Belle is a blog hog

2005-12-20T21:12:00.000-05:00

SORRY! But I just had to give a big shout out to my peeps (Urbana and Orudis KT holler!) cause this lovely mexican dish is leaving the country tomorrow morning. That's right Puerto Rico - can you handle the hotness of Taco Belle?! It remains to be seen.

Expect stories about hot cabana boys upon my return. Oops, I hope Mr. Incognito doesn't read that last bit as I'm going to be smooching him at the stroke of midnight this new year's eve. IT'S ALL IN GOOD FUN! Here's a little something to marinate on until my return:

Punk/Hardcore/Metal Lovahs! - this one's for YOU

2005-12-20T13:30:00.000-05:00

Because variety is the spice of life and because I just can't resist the man who made this request, Taco Belle is detering slightly from her usual Brooklyn indie scene and posting another's top 10 of 2005 list. AND IT'S ALL EXTREME SHIT! We're talking punk, hardcore and metal, folks. Let's make a toast to expanding our horizons!

Here it is, the Top 10 of 2005 from Mr. Incognito (pictured below with yummy yummy happy meals!)

1) The Soviettes – “LP III”; Another amazing piece of hook laden pop-punk genius (I’m talking real pop-punk ala Buzzcocks) from Minneapolis’ finest. This shit is like cancer, once it’s inside your head, it’s a major bitch getting it out. The Soviettes will keep you from getting punk rock withdrawal until that new Dillinger 4 album finally comes out.

2) Coliseum – “Goddamage EP”; Nasty, southern fried heavy as fuck punk rock from Louisville, KY. Coliseum does something a lot of “extreme” bands don’t; get personal. Brutal music with equally as brutal personal/political lyrics that removes things from the general to ideas that individuals can grasp on their own level, this shit is scary.

3) M.O.T.O. – “Raw Power”; I’ve been a devout follower of the M.O.T.O. cult ever since I witnessed their kick ass live act opening up for Guitar Wolf in Austin, TX. Funny, catchy, bare bones punk rock from a bunch of dudes who’ve been at this way to long to get it wrong. I swear these guys would be legends by now if they ever got off their lazy asses and toured (1 tour every decade doesn’t count guys)

4) Pelican – “The Fire in our Throats will Beckon the Thaw”; Seriously Epic shit here ladies and gentlemen. Insane instrumental metal that can appeal to non-metal heads. Elaborate, beautifully crafted metal masterpieces that will take you to unexplored places. This shit is so fucking heavy that if you listen to it sitting down, it’ll be difficult to stand up.

5) Red Sparrows – “At the Soundless Dawn”; Long intricate musical collages that push the limits of heavy music. This is the best album Neurosis never put out; accept Red Sparrows has a girl ruling the mic instead of three dudes with giant goatees. I dare you to listen to the album and think that a 5’3” 110 lb girl could even come close to producing the blood curdling growls on this album.

6) Sweet J.A.P. – “I’m only the Moonlight” 7”; Ok, ok I can hear people freaking out already, yes I know this album came out in 2004 and NO I DON’T GIVE A SHIT. First of all 99.9% of people missed out on this amazing final release from one of the most important punk bands in recent memory. Bridging the gap between blistering hardcore and 77’ punk like no one before them, not to mention this band kicked ass live. I nearly cried when this band broke up, you should have too but you were all to busy listening to Broken Social Scene and pretending to be socially responsible.

7) Screeching Weasel – “Kill the Musicians” Reissue; Since being baptized in the from the Church of the Ramones at an early age (registered minister since ’96), Screeching Weasel was always a band that I respected for really holding a proper candle to the boys in leather jackets, while still brining a little of their own flare. Not an official album, “Kill the Musicians” is a great Weasel starter kit with a nice glimpse inside of the Weasel evolution.

8) Smoke or Fire – “Above the City”; A truly spectacular debut. Everything I like in a band: gruffy vocals, smart heartfelt lyrics and tons of sing along type moments. Reminds me a lot of early Small Brown Bike, which is not a bad thing.

9) Holy Mountain – “Entrails”; Fucking scary Gainesville style crusty hardcore. The vocals will peel your skin off and the socio-political ferocity will have you suicide bombing in no time. In the vain of His Hero is Gone, Born Against and all that dirty shit on Havoc Records, you get the picture.

10) Genghis Tron – “Cloak of Love”; I only started listening to this band very recently but I couldn’t resist putting this on my top ten. I have to give Genghis Tron credit; they are doing some pretty original shit on “Cloak of Love.” Take one part Depeche Mode, one part Combatwoundedveteran (actually any favorite power violence band will do) and throw them in a nuclear turbine and you kind of come close to Genghis Tron. They really blend synth pop and grindcore like no one before them (has anyone ever tried mixing synth pop and grindcore before?). A+ for originally.

Matt and Kim - The adorable couple that I DON'T want to strangle

2005-12-19T11:48:00.000-05:00

Ok ok, so most likely everyone who bothers to read this titillating blog has already heard of Matt and Kim, the all too-delightful pop music couple who reside in Willy'bizzle (can I copyright that please?). I'm also fairly positive that those of you who live in said neighborhood have seen them play alongside their homies, Japanther. So my work here is pretty much done and done, right? WRONG! Despite the fact that M and K are all the rage I will continue to regale you with stories of their awesomeness because, well, they kick ass.

The first time I saw them was over the summer at Office Ops (the Bushwick locale that everyone loves to hate). It was a rooftop affair with Japanther headlining (isn't summertime in Brooklyn the best?). I had never had the pleasure of seeing Matt and Kim until that point, and since then my life has gone from donkeys to unicorns.

Here's their deal: they are an adorable couple who play the happiest music I have ever heard. Kim plays the drums while Matt sings and takes charge of the synthesizers. Five nights ago I had the extreme pleasure of seeing them again, this time opening for man vs. beast (another insane-in-a-good-way band). What can I say, their performance made me want to buy a round of budweiser tall boys for everyone and then bake cupcakes (or at least eat one).

Check them out! www.myspace.com/mattandkim

*semi-interesting side note: Matt and Kim were just recently signed to iheartcomix, the record label belonging to none other then Frankie Chan, the bald-headed, bespectecled friend of the cobrasnake and dj buddy of Kid Millionaire (aka Steve Aoki).